I just wrote "cuntdown" instead of countdown for the title.
Cos my emotions are all out of whack right now.
If I'm not crying, I'm uncontrollably laughing.
And I needed this:
The laughing is due to nervous energy.
The crying is due to the sense of accomplishment I can taste already.
This week has gone super slow.
I got in all of my runs per the training schedule.
And then I decided to drive the course.
|like this one...and that one...|
Sure, I was told in advance that the course was hilly.
So I incorporated some hills into my training plan.
But I seriously was not prepared for JUST how hilly it actually is.
I've spent the last couple of days freaking out about the hills.
Telling myself there's no way I can do this.
Doubting the last 12 weeks I've spent training.
Wondering why I thought I could ever accomplish something like this.
Hating myself for not signing up for the half marathon next Sunday.
In VA beach.
On St. Patty's Day.
Today, I'm ready to finish that race and say,
"I did it. I freakin' accomplished the shit out of this shit!"
Pre-driving the course, I was hoping for a time between 2:00:00 and 2:05:00.
Post-drive...I'm hoping for under 2:10:00.
Now, don't you think I'm copping out.
You better believe I'm going to push myself...coach myself running up each one of those hills.
Striving to still obtain that 2 hour goal.
But I am also accepting the fact that this is a hard course and I don't want to beat myself up for not getting a bombass, stellar time! (By my standards)
I can taste the accomplishment already.
These tears, streaming down my face (#uglycry), are from simply picturing myself crossing that finish line.
...of anticipating putting on my Ruffles with Love "13 POINT FREAKING 1" shirt post-race.
I set out.
I get it.
I freaking get how incredibly fucking awesome this accomplishment is.
And I'm almost there!
Thank YOU for all the encouragement thus far.
I greatly appreciate all of the kind words and belief in me that so many of you have shared with me.
I'll take all the kind words, thoughts, prayers and encouragement you can give!
Especially since my little man has come down with some cold/bug and I'm trying my darndest to be the best caring mommy but not get sick myself!!
If you don't already, head over to Instagram and follow me. @kbeavtann
That will be the first spot I'm blowing up with all things Half Mary tomorrow!!