My Big Fat Bitch of a Run

So, if you've been around here a few times before, you know I'm training for my first ever half marathon!
I'm totally stoked about finishing the half marathon and crossing something off my bucket list and buying one of those 13.1 stickers to rock the shit out of on the back of my car!

The training plan I'm following is the Hal Higdon Novice 2 training plan and it looks a little something like this:

I'm a planner so I work veeeeeeery well with a schedule to follow.
I  have been loving this training plan/process and look forward to my runs.
(every time I write "my runs" I always feel like I'm talking about diarrhea...)
Until this weekend.

I have to admit, I get nervous about the long runs on Saturdays.
But only because, with each added mile, I don't know what to expect.
I don't know how I'll feel throughout the whole distance or what my average time will be for each mile or the total time when finished.
I am really hard on myself to get a time that I am pleased with.

(Which is under a 10 minute average mile for the half...but, realistically, I think it's probably more like a 9:30 average mile that I'm really hoping to get.)

The "being hard on myself" is an advantage as well as a disadvantage.
Advantage...these bombass times I never EVER thought I would never EVER see. EVER.
(Oh lawd, now I'm channeling Taylor Swift)

Disadvantage...quite possibly pushing myself too hard which results in resenting/dreading my run.

Last week was Week 9 in the training plan and as you can see in the training plan pic above, it called for a 10K (6.2 miles)
These are optional. They are suggested during the training plan to get a "feel" for how races work and to help in seeing how you might fare at the actual half.
(We all know the race day high puts a little pep in your step so you typically run a bit faster at races!)

Well, Miss BadAss right here didn't want to back off on miles, so I planned to keep going up on the mileage every Saturday.
The training plan also never has you running 13 miles until race day and homegirl didn't like that either.
Remember...I like a plan.
I like going in knowing how 13 miles has felt before.
So, if I ran 12 miles this past Saturday, then that left me with 2 Saturday runs before the half that I would do 13 miles.
And I liked that idea.

I'm already dragging this out long enough...
Saturday came and so did the snow...we're talking big ass snow flakes.
So I took the liberty of cross training with Jillian on Saturday and would do the 12 miles on Sunday.

Sunday came, and so did my period.
And cramps like a bitch.
So I decided I was going to go by the actual training plan and do the 10K and rock the shit out of 6 miles to get a PR on that!
After popping some Midol and stretching and trying to get my head right, I headed out.
And did my first mile in 8:17.
I didn't feel like I was going that fast so I first thought the calibration was off on Map My Run but then got excited about how fan-freaking-tastic my end time would be!

Then the wind picked up. And it was ice cold.
I ran with my head down...like a bull charging the red cape, I was charging into the wind.
At about 2.70 miles my chest was severely hurting.
Like stabbing pains all on my upper left side of my chest.
It's happened before.
But it really hurt this time and it scared me.
I've known 2 people that have died having a heart attack while they were running.
Both were older men (50+) and in great running shape.
But I got a little nervous.
I stopped and walked it off.
(Okay, and cried a little)
I contemplated calling my husband to come pick me up but as I walked, it got better.
I decided that I was going to start back up jogging towards home.
At this point I wasn't sure whether I was going to try to complete the six miles or not.
But then, after falling into an ice puddle, I knew I was done.
I ran 1.30 miles home for a combined total of 4 miles.
I could not get out of my head and it was my worst run to date.
I was pissed.

I think I'm more pissed because I'm scared of dreading more runs.
I'm scared of the chest pain.
I want so badly to complete this half in my goal time (under 2 hrs 10 mins) with no pain or injuries.

My head. My thoughts. My fears.
They're starting to take over the adrenaline and satisfaction of accomplishment.
I need to get out of this funk!
I'm praying it's just the Debbie Downer bitch that is my period that's to blame...
And that my runner's high will start kicking in again.


On a lovelier note...perhaps my recent purchases could help my funk!
I purchased a Ruffles with Love shirt!
Vanessa, the owner and creator is super sweet and awesome to work with.
Together, we came up with a customized shirt that I cannot wait to see and wear at my first half!
Pictures to come when I get it!!
Use code MAMA15 to get 15% off of yours!!

And, I placed a BIC Bands order!
Use code SRfeb in the month of February to get 10% off

(I really am curious though...I've heard people talk about BIC Bands and Brady Bands and I'm just curious to hear your opinions about which are better!! Anyone care to share?!?)