Friday, February 22, 2013

In a funk

A HUGE welcome to all my new followers.
(Thanks for pimping me out, Holly!)

I feel like I've read some posts before along the extent of,
"Hey, welcome new followers and sorry you joined the action right in time for me to be in a funk" 
But that's totally me right now!
WOMP WOmp womp...

I am in a funk.
I don't know exactly why or how or what about.
But it's there!

I do know one thing weighing heavy on me...
I'm really struggling with how I manage my time.
I'm feeling guilty about where I place my time.

I have a 17-month-old son who I stay home with 5 days out of the week
I have a job (30 hours/week) that I do from home, except for the 2 days I go into the office.
I can't seem to find the balance between my son, working, my DVR, blogs and Instagram.
(poor hubs just fits in wherever he can!) 

Yes, I do understand how absolutely silly this sounds.
But it's an honest struggle for me right now. 

I haven't read any blogs since Monday.
My DVR has only 30% available to record.
(y'all, there are 19 episodes of Ellen on there yet to watch! And I love that woman - no, not like that, Portia - so if I'm neglecting know that's bad!!
I've basically given up on Facebook.
The only time I get on there is if I post a pic or have a notification for something.
I have to admit that I actually don't miss scrolling through everyone's statuses.
I kind of backed off cos I realized how angry I was getting after reading stupid, mindless, annoying shit!

I don't, however feel guilty about my workout/running times.
I know those moments are me bettering myself, so I know they are necessary.
I know I want Royce to see my example of making time to be active, exercise and be healthy.  

I have a guilty conscious by nature.
So I'm struggling with anything else that consumes my time that may take away from my son.
I turn on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse so I can read a few blogs, get some work done, scour IG...
And while he loves those crazy animated animals, I get so wrapped up in what I'm doing that I don't even take the time to watch him enjoy their antics.
So it's bedtime and as I put him in his crib, I feel as though I haven't seen him all day.

This makes it sound like I am totally neglecting my son.
And I assure you, I'm not!
I do take time out and get down and play with him. 
Nurture him.
Take care of him.
Love him.
Kiss him.
Hug him.
Read to him.
Chase him. (his new fave thing!)
I know that he feels loved and cherished.
I know that I'm spending ample amounts of time with him.
I just don't ever want to think back on this time and think, "Gah, I was so wrapped up in insert here that I feel like I just missed it all."
I have a "Mommy Board" on Pinterest chalk full of stuff that I want to do with Royce.
I just looked at this board and forgot all the cool things I had on there.
I don't want to miss out on different opportunities, adventures, memories with him cos I was too busy with "stuff".     

Just my raw, honest struggle with balance.
I know I'm not alone in this.
So thanks for listening, friends!

I promise to snap the eff out of it soon...ish!

For now, I'll just leave you with this...


  1. You're famous now! And even busier! TGiFF Kyra!

  2. I 100% Completely agree with everything you said. It's soo funny how alike we are, and sometimes our blogs show it;) This is why we are BBFs. :)
    It's hard to juggle time. I thought I found a balance, but it still weighed on my heart. So that right there says my balance was not found. Hopefully we can both find it... But until then, we will try to be kickass parents first. ;)

  3. I just came across your blog this morning (I may have spent over an house reading through your posts, since you started blogging). I am a mother of 3 trying to loose my baby weight from baby number 1 (like 5 years ago) and found your blog very motivating! Keep up the good work!

  4. I think we all struggle with this. The way I look at it as long as the essentials are taken care of, things like IG and blogs can take a backseat. I love blogging and I love reading everyone else's blogs too, but time for me running and time for my kids is non-negotiable so if something's gotta give, it's something like the internet or TV that can wait. It sucks, for sure, there just aren't enough hours in the day. You're doing a good job handling it all, I promise!

  5. Yes I have been there girl - we all have... It is hard to balance "life" in general. I quit FB (felt AWESOME) - let twitter just hang - IG and my blog I still do. Weekends are spent solely with the family. I work 40+ hrs outside of the home and still have to find the time to manage workouts, runs, etc... It is hard girl - very hard - but I have learned to "do the best I can". My kids know I love them with my whole being - guilt is hard to swallow. I do it everyday... but I have also found that when I AM HAPPY - everything around me falls into place. AND for me to be happy - that means working out, running, taking time for myself... hang in there - being a mom, wife, woman, person in general - is tough.

  6. It is so hard so I know what you mean. I don't have kids but 40 hours of work and another 20 on school each week and then blogging, husband and other family. In yeah and friends. Hang in there and it will get better. I'm really having a tough time managing it too though. : ( I definitely need to come up with a better plan. : )

  7. I am in the same funk. I am with you, hoping to get it sorted out this weekend. I even do that same thing at bedtime, feeling like I haven't seen them all day even though I have been with them and played with them and all, just feel like I am going to be sad some day like I missed something. If you figure out some amazing answer please share. ;)

  8. Why can't there be more than 24 hours in a day when you are productive (with no ramifications - i.e. lack of sleep), and the universe be patient? I mean jeez, we are only one person! Take a deep breath, have a glass (a BIG one) of wine, and do one thing at a time. It will get done in time. Until then enjoy as many snuggles, make loads of memories and don't fret. It will all work out - and you are not alone. Love you lots like tator tots!