Goodbye 2012, Hello 30 year-old MILF in skinny jeans!

Remember my colorful little post declaring Screw Thick Thursday?!?!?
Welp, guess what came back to bite me in the ass?
(Actually, I wish it literally would have bitten my ass off...then I would have weighed a little less!)
Yep! I weighed myself this morning so I could know what weight I ended December with.
168.

Yikes!!
Quick recap: started December out at 167. Got down to 165 and maintained that for about 3 weeks. Have gone bat shit crazy with my eating since Christmas Eve. And BAM! 168 bitch slapped me this morning!
Guess I should've gotten on the "get back on track wagon"

Trust me...January 2nd....IT'S ON!!!!!

I plan to post tomorrow on New Years Day about some Resolutions I've got cooking up, but I wanted to share one with you today.

My 30th Birthday is exactly one month from today...
JANUARY 31ST

I've declared before that I wanted to be 140 by then.
Since I don't think that's quite obtainable at this point, I'm shooting for 155.
(Actually, I really want 150. And I will aim for that, but I will also accept myself for reaching 155!)

I believe it was Miss Nancy Clue that coined the phrase "MILF by 30"
LOVE IT!
F yes I want to be hot for my 30th birthday.
So, I am living by this slogan for the next 31 days!!
I seriously need to post this EVERYWHERE in my house!
And you bitches need to constantly remind me of this!

I also want to wear these kick ass mint green pants from Victoria's Secret for my 30th birthday shindig

(that my hubs, mom, and sis {and maybe some others???} are cooking up. My control freak self is suprisingly loving that I've given them the reigns. All I know is it will take place on Feb 2nd - I think - in Pennsylvania and it better be fun as shit! hee hee)

And I currently own them in a size 10 and they are WAAAAAAAY too small.
I'm not saying this to make myself feel better...but these pants definitely run small.
So, I have them hanging over the door of my bedroom closet so I see those suckers every.mother.loving.day!

So there you have it, loves...
155 (or less), MILF status, and rockin these jeans for January 31st!

And, Darci, I so wish I lived closer to you...with our 30th bdays just 6 days apart, we'd paint the town red. 

TRUST!

Random quickie anyone?!?

A few coworkers were commenting on my weight loss the other day so I was telling them that I'm running a lot and training for a half marathon.

One coworker said, "But how does your fat not jiggle when you run?"

She wasn't referring to my fat specifically cos I would have bitch slapped her into next Tuesday. 

She was explaining how she doesn't like to run cos she just feels like all her fat is steadily bouncing up and down with each stride.

My reply, "Oh, you gotta spandex the shit outta your blub so it can't move!"

Exhibit A

However, lately, the yoga pants I'm wearing to run aren't staying up as well so my fat is flapping in the wind.
Me no likey.
A post on expensive but very necessary running gear is in the works...

And, on a completely different note...
I want this nail polish for New Years Eve!!!!

The girl that posted it only wrote "Double Tap" but I don't know if that's the name of the color cos I can't find it on the OPI website. And a million people asked what the name of the color was, but no answer.
So I am on the hunt!

Any of you fine ladies have any clue what this nail polish is called or where I could possibly find it?!?!

PS...I have no NYE plans set currently. (My husband doesn't like to go anywhere!!) but regardless...I NEED this color in my NYE life!

Happy Friday, Y'all!!!

Screw Thick Thursday!

I have lost complete track of my days since Sunday!

Last time I stepped on the scale was Christmas morning and it read 166 (1 pound difference from last Thursday and truth be told, I don't care to know my weight today!

I've been reading through all the blogs I follow and everyone has the same story.
...ate way too much, but back on track now!
Well, I'm totally on the food train, but I missed the back on track train and don't think I'll be boarding anytime soon!

I don't have the motivation....and it's because I feel so lazy from eating so much shit!
Since we hosted all the Christmas shindigs at our house, we also have all the leftovers.
See, when I go grocery shopping I don't get any of the crap.
Cos if it's not here, I don't eat it!

But because it is here....and here in abundance....I CAN'T STOP EATING!!

How about some good news, I got my run in yesterday!
And then came home and ate about 5-7 cookies!

Oy!

And I can't even lie....I probably won't board the "back on track" train till after New Years.
I'll continue to train for the half, so I'll still be running, but the shit show that is my eating...I can't make any promises!

I am, however, proud of you ladies that are getting back to it!
May your blogposts bitch slap me to pull the reigns on my horrible eating habits sooner rather than later!
...cos homegirl's got a 30th birthday coming next month and needs to be more 30 and Flirty and less Holiday Hefer!

It's the end of the world as we know it. And I feel fine

What do you mean I'm not the only one that came up with that as their blog title for today?!?!

I figured what better way to spend this last day than with adorable-freaking pics and hilarious-effing ecards!!

(Am I the only one that finds them absolutely hysterical?!?)

PS, if you're still here tomorrow, find me on Instagram.... @kbeavtann ...and I'll keep the adorableness going for ya!

Thick Thursday 12.20.12 and a little Holiday link up!

YO!!!!

In this corner, fighting in the raggedy ass sweatpants, unshowered as usual, weighing in at 165...

Arms:      13"
Chest:      37" {loss of 1/2 inch...OF COURSE IT'S IN MY CHEST}
Waist:   37 1/2"
Hips:       39"
Thighs:  23 1/2"

This pic was taken Monday night.
It was my work Christmas party.
Perhaps you saw on Instagtram (@kbeavtann) that I posted this outfit asking for opinions as I was wearing it to an event 2 weeks ago....
So sue me.
There were no repeat guests at these 2 events (other than my husband and he could care less!) so I felt safe to wear the same outfit again.
(Gasp!!! Hollywood would be uber judgmental about my fashion faux pas!)

"Maintaining" at it's finest, and I'm ok with that!


And time for a little linky-link up!
I'm coming at ya, vlog style, unshowered, no makeup and rocking the glasses!
You're welcome! ;)

Head on over to Sarah's page to link up!!

And here are the Questions:
What's your favorite holiday movie?
Do you have any special traditions?
What's your favorite ornament or decoration?
Best gift you've ever received?
Worst gift you've ever received?
Favorite winter accessory?
Real tree or fake?
When and how did you find out that Santa was not real?

Why do I even need a title?

Yep, I had absolutely no clue what to title these ramblings as!!

Ahhhhh...
And I was doing so well with consistent blogging....

And then Saturday happened.
Long story....It ends with my child projectile vomiting all over him and me in Walmart.
(While I was a basket case in the Walmart bathroom trying to clean us both off, in hindsight, it would have been great to have a picture to share here. Perhaps that would be TMI. Eh, we mommies don't know our limits! We looked a hot mess and now that it's a thing of the past, it's pretty laughable! - the way we looked, not that my sweet baby boy was sick!)

Sunday, was my turn to be sick.

And then Monday and Tuesday were just a shit show of horrible, horrible eating.

I felt sick, sluggish, moody, tired, uncomfortable, full, and just plain nasty.

All the crap I'd been shoveling in my face was affecting my sleep and my ability to do anything.
Tuesday afternoon I'd had enough!
I went for my 3 mile run and had fruit for dinner.
And I felt like a million bucks.
Check it:

My fastest pace yet! I was motivated as hell!

Apples and Bananas. Dinner anyone?!?

And today I really haven't eaten much more than fruits and veggies.
Not because I've been trying to "be good".
My body is currently revolting from all the shit and I haven't really been wanting anything else!
Ok, so, a snack today was cut up, frozen bananas with Lite Cool Whip on top.
(With festive little sugar sprinkles...they're just too dang precious to pass up!)
And yes, I piled the Cool Whip on, but I ended up not eating half the Cool Whip!

Snack time with my little man. He had an Apple Banana squeeze pouch, but I think he enjoyed the Cool Whip better!

I know the holiday is not over.
We've got a birthday party, Christmas party at church and Christmas Eve and Day festivities all ahead of us yet.
I just need to remember the effect that eating so much of all this crap has on me.
Moderation is not a thing I practice well during the holidays!

Come the New Year, I want to do Dr. Oz's 3-day detox.
I think by then, my body will be begging me to do it!
More on that when the time comes!

Thick Thursday

This will be short and sweet.

My job is being a dick right now.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind what I do and I like the liberty it gives me to work from home.
But I gots lots o' shit to enter by TOMORROW!!
Shoot me!

My weight and measurements were the same this week as they were last week and the week before that!
I'll share the weight: 165 (that's all the deets you really want to know anyway!)

I could say I'm plateauing again.
But that would be a stretch of the truth.

I'm maintaining through the holidays!
And by that I mean I have all these events going on over the weekends and I indulge.
Oh, do I indulge!
So during the week I try to make up for the weekend!
Which keeps me at a constant 165.

And that's all for now, folks!
Back I go to the world of data entry.