Goodbye 2012, Hello 30 year-old MILF in skinny jeans!

Remember my colorful little post declaring Screw Thick Thursday?!?!?
Welp, guess what came back to bite me in the ass?
(Actually, I wish it literally would have bitten my ass off...then I would have weighed a little less!)
Yep! I weighed myself this morning so I could know what weight I ended December with.
168.

Yikes!!
Quick recap: started December out at 167. Got down to 165 and maintained that for about 3 weeks. Have gone bat shit crazy with my eating since Christmas Eve. And BAM! 168 bitch slapped me this morning!
Guess I should've gotten on the "get back on track wagon"

Trust me...January 2nd....IT'S ON!!!!!

I plan to post tomorrow on New Years Day about some Resolutions I've got cooking up, but I wanted to share one with you today.

My 30th Birthday is exactly one month from today...
JANUARY 31ST

I've declared before that I wanted to be 140 by then.
Since I don't think that's quite obtainable at this point, I'm shooting for 155.
(Actually, I really want 150. And I will aim for that, but I will also accept myself for reaching 155!)

I believe it was Miss Nancy Clue that coined the phrase "MILF by 30"
LOVE IT!
F yes I want to be hot for my 30th birthday.
So, I am living by this slogan for the next 31 days!!
I seriously need to post this EVERYWHERE in my house!
And you bitches need to constantly remind me of this!

I also want to wear these kick ass mint green pants from Victoria's Secret for my 30th birthday shindig

(that my hubs, mom, and sis {and maybe some others???} are cooking up. My control freak self is suprisingly loving that I've given them the reigns. All I know is it will take place on Feb 2nd - I think - in Pennsylvania and it better be fun as shit! hee hee)

And I currently own them in a size 10 and they are WAAAAAAAY too small.
I'm not saying this to make myself feel better...but these pants definitely run small.
So, I have them hanging over the door of my bedroom closet so I see those suckers every.mother.loving.day!

So there you have it, loves...
155 (or less), MILF status, and rockin these jeans for January 31st!

And, Darci, I so wish I lived closer to you...with our 30th bdays just 6 days apart, we'd paint the town red. 

TRUST!

Random quickie anyone?!?

A few coworkers were commenting on my weight loss the other day so I was telling them that I'm running a lot and training for a half marathon.

One coworker said, "But how does your fat not jiggle when you run?"

She wasn't referring to my fat specifically cos I would have bitch slapped her into next Tuesday. 

She was explaining how she doesn't like to run cos she just feels like all her fat is steadily bouncing up and down with each stride.

My reply, "Oh, you gotta spandex the shit outta your blub so it can't move!"

Exhibit A

However, lately, the yoga pants I'm wearing to run aren't staying up as well so my fat is flapping in the wind.
Me no likey.
A post on expensive but very necessary running gear is in the works...

And, on a completely different note...
I want this nail polish for New Years Eve!!!!

The girl that posted it only wrote "Double Tap" but I don't know if that's the name of the color cos I can't find it on the OPI website. And a million people asked what the name of the color was, but no answer.
So I am on the hunt!

Any of you fine ladies have any clue what this nail polish is called or where I could possibly find it?!?!

PS...I have no NYE plans set currently. (My husband doesn't like to go anywhere!!) but regardless...I NEED this color in my NYE life!

Happy Friday, Y'all!!!

Screw Thick Thursday!

I have lost complete track of my days since Sunday!

Last time I stepped on the scale was Christmas morning and it read 166 (1 pound difference from last Thursday and truth be told, I don't care to know my weight today!

I've been reading through all the blogs I follow and everyone has the same story.
...ate way too much, but back on track now!
Well, I'm totally on the food train, but I missed the back on track train and don't think I'll be boarding anytime soon!

I don't have the motivation....and it's because I feel so lazy from eating so much shit!
Since we hosted all the Christmas shindigs at our house, we also have all the leftovers.
See, when I go grocery shopping I don't get any of the crap.
Cos if it's not here, I don't eat it!

But because it is here....and here in abundance....I CAN'T STOP EATING!!

How about some good news, I got my run in yesterday!
And then came home and ate about 5-7 cookies!

Oy!

And I can't even lie....I probably won't board the "back on track" train till after New Years.
I'll continue to train for the half, so I'll still be running, but the shit show that is my eating...I can't make any promises!

I am, however, proud of you ladies that are getting back to it!
May your blogposts bitch slap me to pull the reigns on my horrible eating habits sooner rather than later!
...cos homegirl's got a 30th birthday coming next month and needs to be more 30 and Flirty and less Holiday Hefer!

It's the end of the world as we know it. And I feel fine

What do you mean I'm not the only one that came up with that as their blog title for today?!?!

I figured what better way to spend this last day than with adorable-freaking pics and hilarious-effing ecards!!

(Am I the only one that finds them absolutely hysterical?!?)

PS, if you're still here tomorrow, find me on Instagram.... @kbeavtann ...and I'll keep the adorableness going for ya!

Thick Thursday 12.20.12 and a little Holiday link up!

YO!!!!

In this corner, fighting in the raggedy ass sweatpants, unshowered as usual, weighing in at 165...

Arms:      13"
Chest:      37" {loss of 1/2 inch...OF COURSE IT'S IN MY CHEST}
Waist:   37 1/2"
Hips:       39"
Thighs:  23 1/2"

This pic was taken Monday night.
It was my work Christmas party.
Perhaps you saw on Instagtram (@kbeavtann) that I posted this outfit asking for opinions as I was wearing it to an event 2 weeks ago....
So sue me.
There were no repeat guests at these 2 events (other than my husband and he could care less!) so I felt safe to wear the same outfit again.
(Gasp!!! Hollywood would be uber judgmental about my fashion faux pas!)

"Maintaining" at it's finest, and I'm ok with that!


And time for a little linky-link up!
I'm coming at ya, vlog style, unshowered, no makeup and rocking the glasses!
You're welcome! ;)

Head on over to Sarah's page to link up!!

And here are the Questions:
What's your favorite holiday movie?
Do you have any special traditions?
What's your favorite ornament or decoration?
Best gift you've ever received?
Worst gift you've ever received?
Favorite winter accessory?
Real tree or fake?
When and how did you find out that Santa was not real?

Why do I even need a title?

Yep, I had absolutely no clue what to title these ramblings as!!

Ahhhhh...
And I was doing so well with consistent blogging....

And then Saturday happened.
Long story....It ends with my child projectile vomiting all over him and me in Walmart.
(While I was a basket case in the Walmart bathroom trying to clean us both off, in hindsight, it would have been great to have a picture to share here. Perhaps that would be TMI. Eh, we mommies don't know our limits! We looked a hot mess and now that it's a thing of the past, it's pretty laughable! - the way we looked, not that my sweet baby boy was sick!)

Sunday, was my turn to be sick.

And then Monday and Tuesday were just a shit show of horrible, horrible eating.

I felt sick, sluggish, moody, tired, uncomfortable, full, and just plain nasty.

All the crap I'd been shoveling in my face was affecting my sleep and my ability to do anything.
Tuesday afternoon I'd had enough!
I went for my 3 mile run and had fruit for dinner.
And I felt like a million bucks.
Check it:

My fastest pace yet! I was motivated as hell!

Apples and Bananas. Dinner anyone?!?

And today I really haven't eaten much more than fruits and veggies.
Not because I've been trying to "be good".
My body is currently revolting from all the shit and I haven't really been wanting anything else!
Ok, so, a snack today was cut up, frozen bananas with Lite Cool Whip on top.
(With festive little sugar sprinkles...they're just too dang precious to pass up!)
And yes, I piled the Cool Whip on, but I ended up not eating half the Cool Whip!

Snack time with my little man. He had an Apple Banana squeeze pouch, but I think he enjoyed the Cool Whip better!

I know the holiday is not over.
We've got a birthday party, Christmas party at church and Christmas Eve and Day festivities all ahead of us yet.
I just need to remember the effect that eating so much of all this crap has on me.
Moderation is not a thing I practice well during the holidays!

Come the New Year, I want to do Dr. Oz's 3-day detox.
I think by then, my body will be begging me to do it!
More on that when the time comes!

Thick Thursday

This will be short and sweet.

My job is being a dick right now.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind what I do and I like the liberty it gives me to work from home.
But I gots lots o' shit to enter by TOMORROW!!
Shoot me!

My weight and measurements were the same this week as they were last week and the week before that!
I'll share the weight: 165 (that's all the deets you really want to know anyway!)

I could say I'm plateauing again.
But that would be a stretch of the truth.

I'm maintaining through the holidays!
And by that I mean I have all these events going on over the weekends and I indulge.
Oh, do I indulge!
So during the week I try to make up for the weekend!
Which keeps me at a constant 165.

And that's all for now, folks!
Back I go to the world of data entry.

Santa Pic Fail LINK UP

Y'all!!!

This is my first link up I've ever participated in.

Because, deep down, I know I'm a Blog Mom at heart!
I may have gotten a slow start on this thing, but look at me now...
I'm Instagramming, Hashtagging, Keeking, Taking names, Kicking asses, and now Linking Up!

Count me in, ladies!! (Ooops, and Chris!)
...cos I wanna do what all you cool kids are doing!

The pictures I'm about to share are honestly, in my opinion, not failures.
I think it's a must, actually, to have the baby crying on Santa's lap for at least one year.
(Beyond one year of these shenanigans is just overdramatic!)

      - I kid, I kid....I think every year, up until age 13, you should have a picture of your kid screaming and    

        bawling on Santa's lap!

And I also like to look at the Santa's face to see if the look of shear terror of dropping the screaming kid is in their eyes...

My son, Royce is now 15 months old.
So, his first Christmas he was completely oblivious to the fact that a big fat person in a stylish red velour suit with a beard was, in fact, not his mother.
"I knew I didn't smell booby milk!"

"Da eff you say, Santa??"

So, at 15 months, mommy's lost some weight, changed to red satin suits and shaved the beard so there ain't no mistaking Santa for me!!
So far we've encountered Santa twice this Christmas season.
The first time, we were at our local Walmart (aka, our mall) and we had to go back to the Site-to-Store area and "Santa" was just randomly sitting there, declaring we could get a free 5x7 of "him sittin' awn Santa's layup". (Wow! I didn't know Santa had such a thick southern accent!)
Since there were no other associates around (SHOCKER!!!) to conveniently take the picture, I said I'd just test out how Royce would do and snap some pictures on my phone.

I can't say I blame Royce, I'd cry too for a less than mediocre Santa!

The very next day was a Kid's Christmas party we were invited to.

At least he doesn't do the full on bawl!
He just pouts and and puffs and whines and reaches for momma!
Too cute! :)

We have one more meet-up with Santa yet this year and we're done...
3rd times a charm perhpas?!?!

All I want for Christmas is Lasik

To all the bitches out there with your 20/20 eyesight...
I Despise You!

As a working, stay-at-home-mom, changing out of your pajamas typically doesn't happen in a day's time.
But, I will have you know, that on the days I run, I change from my pajamas into my running gear!
Hot damn! Gold star for this mom!
So, when the hubs sees me before he goes to work in the morning, I'm sexily greased up from my lack of showering for a few days.
And when he walks in the door, home from work, he gets a glimpse of me in my super tight spandex pants as we pass in the doorway so I can get my run in before it's dark at effin 5:30 in the evening!
And then it's all spandex and sweat and grease for the rest of the night till i sometimes shower before crawling into bed.
Read: My husband is one lucky mamma-jamma!!!

With all that being said, I very rarely bother to put my contacts in either.
I believe my last eye exam was February of 2011.
That shit costs mad dolla dolla bills, y'all!
So, my contacts that are supposed to be changed out every month, are changed according to whenever they rip.
Or burn and irritate the crap out of my eyes.
And sadly, my last contact ripped this morning.

Let's have a moment of silence.....

Dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmit!

Now I have no choice BUT to wear my glasses all the time.
Yes, I wore them basically all the time anyway, but I liked having my options!
When I actually do shower, get dressed and go out into the world (ie, the one day a week I go into the office) I like to do it up...put the contacts in and everything!

So, with the sad passing of my contact lens, I called my insurance to see what they would cover for me to have LASIK eye surgery.
All I would have to pay out of pocket is $1525.
An eye.

Dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmit!!!

So, I guess it's on to asking for money for my 30th birthday (coming up in January) so I can afford a freaking eye exam and more contacts.

Yep!
It's a lot of broke girl status and a lot of sexy librarian going on over here.

Half Marathon Training

One week from today.

Some of you may have just crapped your pants thinking I was implying that Christmas was one week away!
But, now that you've checked your calendar to be sure you've indeed got 2 more weeks for that; clean yourself up and let's get back to the matter at hand.

One week from today I will start my half marathon training!
I am super stoked.
If you've been keeping track, you know I'm one of those people that need a goal and a plan.
Anything else is just disorganized! :)

I've decided to follow the Hal Higdon's Novice 2 Plan to get me on my merry Half way!
I might have to change the days up a bit to what works with my schedule.
But you better believe I'm getting ready to print out my calendars for the next 3 months so I know exactly what to do on each day!
(How many of you unorganized biznatches are rolling your eyes at me right now?!?!)

I also have to admit that I'm excited for the Rest Days.
No, not because I'm a slacker.
(ok, perhaps maybe a little....)
But because, when I get on an organized exercise plan, I usually never rest.
My mind can't wrap around the fact that rest days are vital and pretty key in a training program.
So, I'm excited to utilize the rest days and make this training program my bitch!

I need a kickass Playlist for this journey.
PLEASE SHARE YOUR TUNES WITH ME!
What songs get you pumped and which tunes pull you through!

Elle Noel and Mama Laughlin have some pretty banging playlists that I will be printing out, highlighting the ones I want and then downloading them.
(Highlighting??? Really, Kyra?!?!? F yes!)

And this little diddy is constantly stuck in my head and gets me PUMPED so it will be going on my playlist

You're welcome.

What's on your playlist?

Interactive Thick Thursday

Hey HEY hey!!!

Coming to ya at 165!
That's an official 25 pounds gone forever! :)

Arms:      13"
Chest:    37 1/2"
Waist:    37 1/2"
Hips:       39" {loss of 1 inch}
Thighs:   23 1/2" {loss of 1/2 inch}

And here is my sexy little progression photo...

Now, ladies, I need your help on this one...
This is the outfit I want to wear to a dinner/dance event I have with the hubs this Saturday.
(It's a dressy casual atmosphere, ps)

Do y'all like this outfit?
I'm obsessed with peplum tops currently, and while this one isn't entirely what I was looking for, it's all I could find in this teensy ass town.

My husband said it looked like it was small in the boob/waist area (God rest his soul)
But, truth be told...it is a bit...it's a Juniors top
(Yes, I am aware that I am almost 30 years old and I purchased a top from the Jr's section. But you gotta believe me when I say small town. As in, the only place to shop for a top was Peebles. (yeah, i know...shoot me) You wanna know my other option to shop at?!? Walmart! "Hot damn, you lucky girl, you!")

My question is...Can you tell?
I mean, I'm not gasping for breath in it by any means.
And it's not like my knockers are any bigger than a B cup.
(ok, maybe a C till I lose some more weight)
But, if you were to take one look at me in public, dressed in this, would your first response be 
        DAMN, Gina!!!! How can a 5 inch span of fabric hold all of THAT in?!?
I mean, it's black too, so how much can you really tell??

Don't lie to me, ladies, cos Santa will find out and give me all your presents.
I'm serious.  

Am I late on the Instagram train?

Well hello, there hoochies!

There really is no point to this post other than a shameless plug!

My mom got me an iPhone as my (early) Christmas present.
(What exactly do you mean when you say..."Welcome to the 21st Century"??)

I primarily wanted it for the running and fitness apps.
No joke!
Map My Run is a must in my book for my runs!
--Since there's no way in hell I can afford a GPS watch! I'm über jelly of those bitches out there that have one and show me their pics of their completed miles and time... ehem, MamaLaughlin and Monica ... Oh yeah?!? Well eat this...

I can do it too!! ...only somehow, the watch pics look so much cooler. *sigh*

 Ok, so anyway, back to the plug...
So I got an iPhone and I'm addicted to Instagram.
Like I cannot get enough of the fun effects and I check it about 20 times a day only to be disappointed that there's not more pictures to like the shit out of out from those I'm following!
(I'm currently following 51...I think I need to be following 2,700...to be exact)

So find me!
Stalk me!
I'll stalk you!
It will be the best relationship you've ever had!

@kbeavtann


You'll see cool shit like this:

What are some apps you can't live without??